Bearsy

The soft prickling texture of different strands as they change direction under your fingertips

A friend to comfort a lonely child

An irreplaceable toy, huggable size

Enough to know you well, and not long enough, and too old

Smells like nature, in the wet grass, and mud, leaves and pollen

They raise their voice when they are happy, in your home

Whatever room you are in, they will follow you, always smiling

You know you will always wake up to find them where you left them

Someone you will hold onto as long as possible, until their very final moments

The staleness of damp that reminds you of the cold car journey home late at night, wrapped in a blanket, buckled in with you, twigs stuck in their fur; you couldn’t unpick them

The trips to the supermarket, the smells of other toys mixed in from playtime, the washing detergent in the bedding, the forest and parks, the classrooms, the backpack, the hospital room, the beach, the sleepover

He kept me warm when I was cold, even though he was cold

Holding him close until the night was over, and my eyes could close

A reassuring squeeze when needed

 

Not enough time, but appreciated

A day comes where his place is no longer in your bed, your bookcase, a stand in the attic

It’s an air-compressed bag in storage, to protect his fur from dust

So, he lasts as long as you do

Held together by threads of wounds fixed up

Even if not by your side, he will always be special because he was for so long

Preciously guarding your memories

No longer soft, too fragile for washing

His eyes still ink-black glassy, velour fibres hiding them, you run a gentle thumb around them So they can be seen, and they still look back at you with love

Through so much, Bearsy, a tear collector, a protector, a comforting friend, a soft-to-touch reminder that I was never truly alone

A tight hug to my chest, soaking the memories in like gauze

Whatever the reason, through all of the seasons

Year after year, you were there

It is my turn to protect you now

The best teddy bear